Let’s say we know somebody named Mario, a plumber from Brooklyn.
Just a hypothetical person I completely made up.
Mario wants to lose weight and increase his vertical leap. Cool. Maybe he’s read some books about how making small changes are the key to building habits – rad!
So Mario picks “drink a glass of water every day” as his small habit.
90 days later, Mario is good at drinking water (fantastic), but he hasn’t made any progress on his goal.
Womp-womp.
He got REALLY good at drinking that glass of water. However, because he never adjusted his workouts or nutrition, he didn’t see any meaningful change in his physique or leaping ability.
Mario is bummed out – he worked so hard on building this habit and it didn’t give him the results he expected.
Let’s compare this to Bowser, a reptile from the Koopa Kingdom.
He also wants to lose weight for a wedding he’s hoping to have, which is understandable. He’s a big fan of David Goggins, so he decides “I’m going to get up at 4AM and work out 2 hours every single day and severely restrict my calories.”
The problem is that Bowser has never worked out before, he’s a night owl, and he’s really busy trying to foil Mario, so after three days he’s miserable, he’s already missed his workout twice, and he gives up.
Bowser changed too much, too soon, and burned out.
Game over.
What’s going on here?
In order for us to make progress, we need to pick goals that are both meaningful and manageable:
- “Manageable” = we can do it consistently & sustainably.
- “Meaningful” = our efforts create actual results.
Too much of one, not enough of the other, and we end up burned out or frustrated at our lack of progress.
If we’re trying to change some part of our life, we need to live in the sweet spot where the two overlap.
Peach:
“I am trying to eat better, so I will batch cook once per week and cut my fast food intake by 25%. This doesn’t feel overwhelming, but it can also create meaningful change in my relationship with food.”
Luigi:
“I am trying to build my ‘push’ muscles, so I am going to do knee push-ups 3 times per week when I wake up. Each week, I’ll add 1 rep. This week, I’ll do 3 sets of 1. Next week, I’ll do 3 sets of 2. Once I get to 3 sets of 20 knee push-ups, I’ll pick a different variation! It feels manageable, and by adding some ‘progressive overload’ over time, it will also create meaningful change.”
Birdo:
“I am trying to lose weight, so I am going to cut my liquid calories in half and go for a 15-minute walk each day. This feels sustainable and can create some meaningful results.”
Toad:
“I want to eventually run a half marathon, so I’m going to recruit a friend to go for a fun run three times per week. I used to force myself to run too far, too fast. A fun run means we can also talk while running. This feels both manageable and meaningful.”
We need enough change to create results, but not so much change that we give up. Finding that sweet spot is crucial, and difficult.
Which circle do you usually overemphasize? I always focus too much on “meaningful” and get burned out, so I have to be hyper-vigilant about pulling myself back to the middle.
How can you find the sweet spot which is both manageable and meaningful?
-Steve
